Clashing Curtains: Galaxy on Fire 2's Almost-There Characterization

“I’m not suiciding myself against the guns of the notorious Keith T. Maxwell,” cries my victim, begging for mercy.

For a moment, even I am fooled by the praise. “That’s right,” I think. “I am a force to be reckoned with,” I consider to myself, forgetting for a moment that most of my engagements end in a fiery wreck upwards of a dozen times before I ever see success. Yes, my foes all fall to me, eventually, but when it comes to suiciding against guns, that was a term more applicable to myself than anyone else in Galaxy on Fire 2.

Yet the victim of my bounty hunting felt differently, and this one throwaway line was surprisingly effective. At least it was for me, so near the target demographic of the game’s writing as I am, for Galaxy on Fire 2 is pure wish fulfillment for 10-25 year old white males - albeit discordantly so.

Take Carla, the protagonist’s romantic interest. You first encounter her at a research station in deep space, where she helps you research the Void threat - a series of attacks perpetrated by nameless, faceless aliens from some distant, unmapped system. She eventually plays a critical role in the solution - though she takes no on-screen action - and goes on to continue that role through the game’s two expansions, Valkyrie and Supernova. At first, she seems to work against type. She is intelligent, driven, and has motivations entirely separate from being the romance option for Keith T. Maxwell. The pair end the game together, and surprisingly, begin the follow-on game, Valkyrie, still together. Keith’s pursuit of Carla, then, aside from being the sole human female he has encountered in the galaxy thus far, does appear to be more than a simple hook up.

But then Carla wants to pick new curtains for their shared apartment, and Keith leaves for new adventures in a huff.

It’s jarring, and while intended to be funny, as Carla hunts Keith across the galaxy to accomplish this domestic task, comes off as non-sense. It is the only side of their relationship we ever see. We never see them bond over their adventures or anything like a shared goal. The galaxy’s smartest woman, who goes on to help save it no less than three times with her intelligence, is reduced to a domestic shrew.

Keith T. Maxwell is not a real character at all either. A handful of characters remark on his heroism and skill, as did my bounty hunting victim, but he appears to have no motivation other than to flit about the galaxy, blowing up pirates, making money, and buying bigger ships.

Not every game can feature deep characterization, of course, but Galaxy on Fire 2 comes so close on so many occasions. The game itself is beautiful, and the loop of fight, profit, upgrade is more tight and more fleshed out than any iOS game has any right to be. Ship combat itself, however, is not solid enough to feed the wish fulfillment, leaving the player with little dogfighting options beyond swiping left and right frantically on the screen to avoid pulse blasts while your boost charges so you can outflank your opponents and shoot them down.

My Keith T. Maxwell was therefore utterly inept, dying dozens of times, despite the game’s praise for his skill. It’s all intended to be wish fulfillment, though I admit I was somewhat embarrassed to recommend it to her, given its expected audience. Anyway, I’m the one more likely to end up choosey about curtains.